Let "kindness" rule your life...

Every  now and then I make it a point to review my values and priorities. I do it primarily because I like to take full responsibility for my actions and their consequences. For me, it is also an 'Accountability-Performance Test'... Tests to know where I am and where I am going.  They have greatly helped me in my professional success, and also in being the person that I am today.


All these years of my existence on earth, and as far back  I can remember, I was driven by three important values... Honesty, hard work and 'straight forwardness'. I guess I inherited these values from my late mother, a person who was always very dear to my heart. 


Although I never had any problem with my first two values (of being honest and hard working), 'straight forwardness' did put me into a few embarrassing situations. They were situations that I could have easily avoided... if I was only less focussed on my 'straight forwardness' and more sensitive to the feelings of others.


Sadly, despite being fully aware of its consequences, being 'straight forward' with people continued to be a primary feature of my personality. I must confess that I did take a great pride in my 'straight forwardness' simply because I liked being very 'expressive and vocal' about my views and beliefs. And it did not matter how others felt about it.


Although many of my childhood views and beliefs have undergone a massive transformation over the years, so have my values. Yes, my traditional values of honesty, hard work and 'straight forwardness' continue to guide my life. But I have consciously added  a 'new one' to my existing List. I have now made "kindness" the highest value in my life. And all my earlier three values are now subject to it. 


I am fully aware that I have a long way to go, to be a 'kinder person' than what I am today. Despite my good intentions, many a times I continue to goof-up and hurt people with my blunt 'straight forwardness'. But  despite these failures, I am determined to walk this endless path of kindness. I have always believed, that, it does not matter if one fails in his attempts; but there should be no failure of attempts.


Many factors have contributed to my 'change of heart'.  However, I guess it was Martin Luther King's famous words that initiated the process of change two years ago. The great man whom I hold as one of my Role Models had written- "Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love".


I am determined to become a 'kinder person'... a soul generated and driven by love. And as I undergo this difficult process of transformation into a 'kinder Hubert Gomes', I feel my inner voice telling me that I shall seek not only God's forgiveness, but also seek 'public forgiveness' from people I have hurt in the past (knowingly and unknowingly).  And I want to do it with great humility,a strong conviction, and without an iota of embarrassment.


Although there were many 'rational reasons' for my past actions and reactions (when I was forced to act 'tough' with certain people), I do not wish to offer them as 'justifications' for my past behavior. A 'straight forwardness' that hurts people is simply not acceptable to me anymore. I want my heart to be in agreement with what my mind now believes in... "Kindness" should overrule everything else in Life!


Yes, I want to see a better and fairer World in my life time. And I do not want to 'only wish' , but go out of my way, to actively contribute to make it happen. And I am convinced that a "better and fairer world" can only come about if we shower the existing world order with greater sincerity, 'kindness' and love. 


And I want to contribute to this vision of a 'Better World', by first working on myself to evolve into a "better human being"... a person who is less self centered and MORE community centered. I am sure my God  will bless my noble intentions, and bless the world... and make it a "better and fairer world", than what it is today! 
And with great 'faith', I am waiting for that to happen!